The Mend Collaborative

‍The Mend Collaborative (TMC) arose from a chance collaboration. Rebecca Weiker, a Victim Offender Dialogue (VOD) facilitator of many years, had co-facilitated a VOD session with Miguel Quezada, also an experienced facilitator, because of his Spanish language skills. They both had personal experience of violence, in very different ways, and they both felt the impact of their collaboration so powerfully that they decided, while debriefing over a cup of coffee, to start TMC.

The crux of their partnership is a mutual desire to create opportunities for transformation and healing for everyone impacted by violence, including victims and people responsible for harm. Rebecca came to her work following the murder of her sister in 1992. Miguel, who grew up in a community impacted by violence and was himself  incarcerated for twenty years as a result, came to the work while in prison, and continued in the policy area after release.

Part of what makes their VOD approach particularly effective is a recognition of how their own histories have increased their capacity for empathetic facilitation. Because of this, they chose to develop a team of facilitators who have all personally experienced harm from one side or the other, and who have all been trained in The Mend Collaborative’s programs. This creates an unparalleled level of understanding and trust within the process.

They work across multiple environments with a focus on grass roots involvement: within communities that have a history of violence and incarceration, with criminal justice reform organizations inside prisons, and in survivor spaces. The goal is always to create a path toward healing. As Rebecca puts it, “We come at this from a place of humility. We’re not personally transforming people’s lives, we’re creating the space for them to do so themselves.”

One of their programs is Days of Healing, in which members of the community are invited to join those inside prison. Both are considered survivors of harm because the incarcerated participants have frequently experienced violence to themselves and lost loved ones as well. “For many who are incarcerated, this is an entirely new idea,” says Miguel. “The realization that their own trauma has affected them in their lives allows them to begin their healing journey, so when they go back into their communities they have a chance to live differently.”

The day-long session gives everyone who chooses to attend an opportunity to share their experiences, knowledge, and grief. It’s also, sometimes, a source of new TMC facilitators, for participants who’ve felt the power of the process want to do more. When they’re trained and begin VOD and Survivor Support work in their communities or in prison settings, it empowers them to be of tangible help in breaking intergenerational cycles of harm, incarceration and recidivism.

In addition to direct Victim Offender Dialogue sessions, The Mend Collaborative’s team also facilitates Surrogate Restorative Dialogue sessions when the person responsible for harm is geographically absent, has not been identified, or if either party does not want a face to face conversation. A surrogate with experience in the specific harm area shares their story with a group of incarcerated people, for their own healing benefit as well. For example, a woman who was shot at seventeen years of age in 1980 heard that her harmer was up for a pardon. She has no interest in talking to them directly but in forty-four years she’s received very little healing, so when she heard about the Surrogate program she decided to do it for that purpose. “Participants get to witness each other’s humanity,” says Miguel. “In a matter of hours they can see the world differently.”

Elle, who lost her daughter to a DUI and attended a Surrogate Restorative Dialogue with Miguel as facilitator, is now training for that role herself. The process of listening to the other side can be transformative. Says Miguel, “You might be speaking with a group incarcerated for a DUI who don’t understand how an accident turned into a crime. The dialogue helps them take responsibility without shame, and helps victims move toward healing and, in some cases, forgiveness.”

The Mend Collaborative expands its reach and knowledge through active membership in the Transformative Programming Works, a network of member groups who provide services to prisons throughout California. Their partnerships with other community-based organizations ensures they’re integrating impacted people, especially women, complimenting each other’s work, and creating new opportunities for each other.

As for impact, as with any complex human interaction, the effects ripple out in ways that aren’t always predictable and each effort brings new learnings. Legislative policy change is a goal, and TMC’s strong relationship with the Office of Victim Services and the Governor’s Office is an indication of the growing influence of their approach. But, while the degree to which these offices and others call on them is part of how they evaluate impact, the true measure of success happens one person at a time.

As Rebecca says, “We’re trying to plant these seeds and create ripples that are very personal but also have a broad scope for generating transformation through entire systems, to reduce violence and create healing.”

The Patchwork Collective provided initial funding to help The Mend Collaborative begin its important work. Its progress and impact have been inspiring to witness.

‍